Naturally
by quillstopher.walken
Summary: Of course Kakashi cares about Sakura. She is his equal, his peer, and his friend. He cares about Naruto too. In practically the same way. Well, not exactly. He's not in love with Naruto.
1. Chapter 1

Sakura was fading before his eyes. Her complexion was pale, dark circles ringed her eyes, and she blinked blearily. A restaurant had burned down last night due to faulty electricity and, after caring for the wounded into the morning, she had come to report the injuries sustained. Several ninja who had rescued civilians from the blaze had been incapacitated. Kakashi would need to re arrange mission rosters and assign ninja to help with the reconstruction. He found himself only vaguely concerned with scheduling. Instead, he watched the pink haired kounoichi before him sway slightly as she talked.

"Sakura," he said calmly, cutting her off. "That's enough"

She closed her mouth. She'd given a brief summary. She still needed to give her estimations for recoveries, a specific breakdown of the types of injuries…

"I'll read the details in the report," Kakashi said, as if reading her mind. His visible eye crinkled warmly. He walked over to her and steered her to the door.

"The report," he continued cheerily. "That someone else will write. You are excused from all your duties for a week."

"That's too long," she slurred, without much conviction.

They were strolling down the corridors now. Or Kakashi was strolling. Sakura was half stumbling, supported by Kakashi's hand at her back and the other under her arm.

Kakashi swung into another office, half carrying Sakura. "Naruto, I'd like you to get Sakura home, and-"

"Sakura!" Naruto yelped, scrambling out from behind his desk. "Were you on duty all night? I've got her Kakashi-sensei! She's going straight to sleep."

Sakura was vaguely aware of Naruto leaping out of the window, holding her against his side, muttering "Geez, first Shikamaru then you, why do all my friends work too hard? When I'm Hokage we'll all have nice, long lunches…"

* * *

Sakura awoke to a red sky. Her mouth felt like it was coated in tar.

"Ugh."

She hadn't even bothered to shut her curtains. She must have slept the whole day. She glanced at the clock. The sun didn't set at 6 am. She had slept the whole day and the whole night! Sakura bolted upright. She was going to be late!

Except, she had nothing to be late for. Right. And she felt slightly dizzy from sitting up so fast. Maybe she _had_ been working too hard; she walked over to the window, closed the curtains, and then stumbled back to bed.

* * *

 _Tap tap tap._ Only one person would use the window instead of the door. Sakura mumbled incoherently as she staggered over and yanked the curtains back. She glared at Kakashi sensei. Or she tried to glare. The noon sun streamed in, effectively shutting her eyes. When she opened them, her window was ajar and Kakashi was standing in her room.

"Hello, Sakura," he said mildly.

"What?" she grumbled.

His single eye focused on her face.

"How are you feeling?"

The question was soft and tinged with concern.

Sakura didn't notice. "Better," she grunted.

He was still studying her.

She sighed. "Ugh, I'm getting as bad as Naruto, overdoing it until I collapse."

Kakashi's chuckle was hollow. "Naruto has the rare ability of bouncing back rather quickly. Unfortunately, neither you nor I are blessed with that gift."

She sat down on the bed, feeling foolish for working herself into delirium. She was responsible. She knew her limits and how to take care of herself.

"Sakura," he was standing right in front of her. "I'd like you to be more careful. You're a valuable part of this village, and you have help if you need it."

It wasn't that simple. "It's just never enough."

"What's never enough?"

Suddenly, the thoughts and doubts she had been keeping to herself bubbled over. "There's never enough help. Not from me, or from everyone else. No matter what I do, what we do, there is so much pain. There is always someone else who needs help. Their own mind or heart is tearing them apart, or they're hurt in some other way. I can't stop, because it never _ends._ "

Tears were brimming at her eyes, her voice felt crushed in her windpipe. She swallowed. Even thought she had just slept for over a day, she was exhausted. She was exhausted from harboring her doubts, for letting them bounce around her mind while she pretended she was invincible. People depended on her and looked to her for answers. How could she tell them that sometimes she felt absolutely useless, that sometimes even she was lost?

Kakashi crouched. He reached out, holding his palm up. Sakura placed her trembling hand in his. He squeezed.

"I understand," he said softly. "Not exactly, but I know what it's like to feel responsible for others, and guilty if I can't be there for them. But Sakura, you can't be there for anyone if you don't care for yourself first."

She nodded, looking over his head. Absentmindedly, she drew her hand back and twisted it in her lap.

"I do, most of the time. But when something goes wrong, I hear it, the voice in my head, telling me I could have done more."

"And did something go wrong?"

"One of the civilians was a kid, burned up badly when they brought him in. He didn't get out right away, and my chakra was already low, so I couldn't regenerate his skin fast enough. He's going to have scars and lasting pain. I just wish I could've saved him from that."

After a pause, he spoke. "Some wounds, Sakura, are meant to leave a scar. And pain." He gestured to his own covered eye. "Scars teach us, remind us how we can heal, and become a part of us. You cannot save someone from life itself."

Sakura's eyes returned to his.

"Did you do all you could?"

"Of course," she said fiercely.

"Then leave the rest to others," he said softly. "They'll help him find a way."


	2. Chapter 2

Kakashi dropped by to check on Sakura later that week. She was sitting on her couch, an opened book on the table in front of her. She glanced between it and her notebook as she jotted something down. He knocked on her living room window, and she waved him in.

"Hey." She said, not looking up.

"Hey yourself."

He plopped down next to her, peeking at the book with one eye. One purple flower on the page; hand written notes scribbled into the margins. A botany book.

Sakura finished what she was scribbling in her own notebook and set the pen down. She stretched and leaned back against the couch. "You know, you don't have to check on me. I'm perfectly capable of _not_ doing work," she teased.

"Of course your are." Kakashi said skeptically, nodding toward the book.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Some light reading."

Kakashi raised a disbelieving eyebrow, but Sakura simply ignored him. Kakashi cleared his throat. Officially. "Besides, as your Hokage, it is my duty to make sure all shinobi are following their orders."

"As Hokage, it seems to be your duty to avoid paperwork whenever possible."

Kakashi inclined his head. "That too."

Sakura chuckled.

"You look better," Kakashi said.

Sakura nodded, "I feel better."

She did. Her eyes were clear, and there was no urgency lurking behind them. Instead she seemed calm. Thoughtful.

"I've been thinking about what you said," she began slowly, reaching for her books and shuffling them into a pile. "About doing what I can. I think that being a kunoichi, I felt I always had to prove myself even more than the boys. So now when I mess up, of I feel I didn't do enough, I'm messing it up for other kunoichis. There's less room for me to make mistakes."

She picked her pen off the table and fiddled with it. After a moment, she continued. "There's so much fear in being a shinobi. If you make a mistake, as a fighter or a healer, it could mean life or death. We're all very hard on ourselves. I think that's also why it's so hard for shinobis to talk about our mental health. We can't appear weak, or at least we think we can't."

She spoke with calm conviction, none of the rushed fear from several days ago.

She turned and poked him with the pen. "You're a prime example."

"Well…" He couldn't disagree.

Sakura grinned, pushed off the couch, and then made a face. " And you were right. I can't help people take care of themselves if I'm not looking after myself."

Sakura walked to kitchen and put on water for tea. She was brave, braver than he was. Here was Kakashi, in his thirties, still afraid to admit some things to himself, and here was Sakura, speaking with passion and honesty. Well, she had always been more eloquent.

When she returned to the couch, she set two cups of tea on table.

"We all get caught up sometimes. You just needed to get your footing back." Kakashi said. He scratched the back of his neck. "And I should probably listen to my own advice more."

Sakura snorted. "Like that'll happen."

"I'll have you know," Kakashi said, feigning defensiveness, "I've come a long way since my youth. They don't let just anyone be Hokage these days."

"Really?" Sakura said. "Because I'm pretty sure Naruto's next, which doesn't say a whole lot about your credentials."

"True," Kakshi said seriously. "It seems all you have to do is save the world, unite the nations, and become a living legend. What happened to Konoha's standards?"

Sakura's eyes danced with amusement. "Well, I hear since the Copy Ninja became Hokage, everything's gone to shit."

Kaksashi shook his head, reaching for his own tea. He held up his cup to Sakura. "Well," he said, with false solemnity. "To the end of Konoha."

Sakura laughed, then raised her own mug. "To Konoha."

* * *

It was the last day of Sakura's (involuntary) vacation and she was scrubbing her kitchen table. _Rap rap rap._

"About time," she grumbled. She went to her sink to rinse the rag and called over her shoulder, "Come in!"

The next second a familiar voice drawled, "Hey."

"Hello." Sakura said, drying her hands. "So tell me, how did you end up bringing me lunch instead of Naruto?"

Kakashi sighed.

Thus followed a winding tale of Naruto being very busy at work, sending a shadow clone to pick up ramen, _that_ shadow clone seeing Hinata at the ramen stand, Hinata reminding the clone that the real Naruto was supposed to have lunch with her and her father to discuss the upcoming wedding, the shadow clone promptly poof-ing out of existence, the real Naruto suddenly remembering he was supposed to meet Hinata for lunch with her father, and Naruto yelling to Kakashi to grab lunch for Sakura as he dashed away. And here was the Sixth Hokage in all his glory.

Sakura shook her head, bemused.

"That's our future Hokage. Let's eat."

As the two shinobi ate, Sakura asked questions about some of the administrative duties she'd missed, and Kakashi answered. Gradually, they both fell into comfortable silence.

Sakura stirred the last of her ramen slowly. "I have another question."

"Ask away," Kakashi said, around a mouthful of noodles.

"Would you tell me about your father?"

Kakashi chewed slowly. He hadn't told the story in years. He wasn't surprised she'd asked. Since the end of the war, they had grown close, and they rarely kept things from each other. There was little that was uncomfortable between them, and Kakashi found that the idea of sharing his father's story did not worry him. In fact, he was relieved. A part of him had been waiting for her to ask. So he told her. He finished the tale by explaining how he met his father in the afterlife.

"It was a gift, to see him again. I was happy to see him, less rash and angry than I was as a boy."

Sakura nodded, her gaze fixed on his face.

"I forgave him. I had already forgiven him, but I had the chance to tell him. I never thought I'd get that."

The ramen bowls sat untouched between them, the table smelled faintly of a wet rag, and somewhere outside someone was yelling. Sakura did not notice.

"I'm proud of you, Kakashi," she said quietly and firmly. She smiled, then reached across the table to collect his ramen bowl. "Your father would be too."


	3. Chapter 3

Kakashi strolled through the streets of Konoha in the early morning light. Sakura had been back at work for nearly a week. She had stopped by his office a few times to discuss the hospital's recent expansion. It was good to see her enthusiastic and energized.

Vendors spilled into the street and began opening their stores. After a life of unpredictable missions, walking the same path to work, smelling the same smells, and seeing the same Konoha come alive each morning was comforting.

Reliable.

Like Sakura.

He had known, without hesitation, that he could trust her with his father's story. Kakashi had outgrown his shame of his father years ago, but he was still protective of his family's past. He hadn't felt the need to protect anything from Sakura. Sakura would always understand. He could talk to her about anything. Diplomatic, personal, she could be trusted. Hell, Sakura was probably his closest friend, and he loved her for it.

He stopped.

Wait, what?

This was his former student, the girl he had known since she was twelve. She wasn't twelve anymore, and her maturity far surpassed his own. She was his equal, his peer, his friend. Still…

Of course he trusted her. And cared about her. That trust and care probably combined into a feeling like love. He loved Naruto in practically the same way. Okay, nope, that was a lie. Naruto was not the one he had confided in. Naruto was not the one who had looked steadily into his eyes and said, "I'm proud of you."

It had been Sakura. Sakura's spirit and warmth. Sakura's hand in his, Sakura's tears, and Sakura's strength. And he didn't want it to be anyone else. He wanted it to be Sakura, and only Sakura, and always Sakura.

Well, shit.

Kakashi was still standing stock still in the middle of the street. He should move. He had a busy day ahead of him. He couldn't think about Sakura now. Not that it was distracting. He just had a lot to do. He was Hokage, after all.

Kakashi didn't think about Sakura the rest of the way to his office. He didn't think about her as he automatically scanned, stamped, and stacked mission reports. He didn't think about her when Naruto, rather concerned at this outburst of productivity, offered to bring him lunch. He concentrated on not thinking about her so fiercely, he thought about her constantly.

How would Sakura feel if he told her? Betrayed, uncomfortable, distant? Kakashi wanted none of those things.

He spent the next several weeks trying to get a grip. He went to the hospital several times to see some of the victims from the restaurant fire. Each time, he hoped and dreaded he'd see her. When he admired a well-written report and chuckled at the tone, a feeling of foreboding overtook him. He glanced at the last sheet. _Submitted by: Sakura Haruno_. He continually convinced himself that he had just been feeling lonely, yet turned down dinners with friends to sit at home or in his office and (not) think about Sakura. Finally, completely fed up with his distracted mind, he got up before dawn, went to the training grounds, formed his Lightning Blade, and exploded all the training posts in his sight. He stopped, panting, and became acutely aware that someone was watching him. Two some ones.

He sighed. Well, great. The two some ones were none other than Naruto and Sakura. He'd seen Sakura in passing, but he hadn't been alone with her since he had realized his…feelings. He dispelled his chakra and greeted them cheerily, "Hello."

"Kakashi-sensei…Are you alright?" Naruto said, his blue eyes wary.

"Fine, fine. Just keeping up on my training. Glad to see you two are doing the same."

"Uhm…Well, we aren't actually. Someone called the office because a lightning storm was freaking them out. They though the forest might catch on fire."

"Oh," Kakashi said. Several pieces of wood were smoking, but nothing was literally _on fire._

And Sakura was silent.

"It seems I did get…carried away."

"I know how that goes." Naruto grinned. "Believe it! If that's all, I should probably get back. See you at the office."

Kakashi smiled under his mask as Naruto bounded away. Only Naruto was that enthusiastic about office work. That would probably change once he was Hokage.

"I need to go too, sensei." Sakura said, frowning slightly. "I was heading into the hospital when I ran into Naruto. We thought it might be you."

Looking at the concern in Sakura's eyes, Kakashi felt guilty for his false cheer.

"I'm alright, Sakura," he repeated.

She nodded, but her frown lingered as she left.

Kakashi's heart was thumping in his chest, but not because of his physical exertions.

Good to know that a lifetime of diligent training was absolutely useless in this situation. Kakashi sighed and tugged at his mask. He was defenseless when it came to her. Maybe he had been going about this the wrong way. His feelings weren't going anywhere, so he may as well accept them. He didn't need to act on them. He could just continue living his life and keep them to himself. After all, he'd lived with far more sinister secrets than being in love.


End file.
